pronounced "Dub-ya." Republican for "minor" or "lesser", euphemistically, "Junior."
W: initial:
pronounced "Dub-ya." Republican for "minor" or "lesser", euphemistically, "Junior."
Wag: n.:
smartass.
Wage: n.:
the name given the periodic payment made when slaves are rented or leased rather than bought.
Wage slave: n.:
one obtained on the installment plan. Payments may be scheduled weekly, biweekly, semimonthly or monthly, depending on the convenience of the payer. The convenience of the payee is not
considered to be relevant.
Walking: n.:
the exercise that replaced running during the greying of America.
Wall Street: n.:
geographic center of America's financial industry.
Its name has given us such evocative images as "back to the wall" and "up against the wall."
"Hitting the wall" is a related idea.
War: n.:
a mechanism used by old men to decrease the competition from young men for available females.
"War is Hell": maxim:
a sentiment attributed to a man who did is utmost to make it a truism.
A vast understatement of war's true worth. Can you imagine GB Shaw writing "Don Juan at War" as a satiric piece?
War on Drugs: n.:
the government's price support program for the narcotics industry.
Warrant: n.:
license to ignore the law.
Warrior: n.:
one who understands the principle "kill them all; God will recognize his own."
Wary: adj.:
paranoid, as in "children are taught to be wary of strangers."
Washington, D.C.: proper name:
the ironic city: named for the man who could not tell a lie, it is the
seat of a government that cannot tell the truth.
Watermelon: n.:
a fruit whose very existence is an affront to the Politically Correct.
Wealth: n.:
the only consistently effective system of birth control.
Weapon: n.:
a tool, capable of causing injury, that I don't know how to use.
An implement designed to extend a warrior's reach — usually to exceed his grasp.
Weapons of mass destruction: n.:
media name for our most important security assets when held by anyone we disapprove of.
The mechanized wholesalers among the Merchants of Death.
Whiskey: n.:
the refined principle of John Barleycorn.
Whisky: n.:
the life-giving water of the land of the Gaels.
Whistle: v.i.:
play the only musical instrument more portable than a harmonica.
White House: proper name:
exclusive bed-and-breakfast in D.C., operated by and for the National Committee of the party in the Oval Office.
White paper: n.:
a report written using whitewash for ink.
Whitewater investigation: n.:
a political venture in which Republican senators undertake to prove that a former Democrat governor was a lawyer and a politician, and that he had the audacity to act like a Republican governor without benefit of GOP sanction.
Wholistic: adj.:
marketeering term emphasizing the unity of patient's mind and body, patient's pocketbook and doctor's hand.
Wicca: n.:
an ancient and honored naturist society. Most of the key rituals
were originally performed without the concealing or misdirecting
influence of raiment.
Wildlife: n.:
what parents think their children are experiencing at college; the traditional Greek lifestyle.
Wildlife preserves: n.:
nondomesticated biota protected against loss or spoilage: buffalo jerky,, dried salmon, jellied rattlesnake, things like that.
Wiley: proper name:
author of another dictionary, where the definitions are shorter and
the illustrations more profuse. He also writes poetry. Suck rocks, Hart.
Will: n.: testament to the generosity and pettiness of the human spirit.
Will power: n.:
won't power. No one ever makes an issue of positive accomplishment.
Will o' the Wisp: proper name:
pre-industrial UFO.
Will of the people: n.:
what's left after you've killed their spirit.
Willy: proper name:
nickname for John Thomas. Member, as of Parliament, stereotypically, an upstanding member; if recently lubricated, a member of the Executive Branch.
Winter: n.:
Mother Nature's naptime.
Wise: adj.:
so discerning as to agree with me.
Wit: n.:
twice the usual allotment of cleverness.
Wit and Wisdom: phrase:
a collection of utterances by and cheap shots at a celebrity.
The term is used generously; if it were applied rigorously, most of
the "Wit and Wisdom of . . . " books would be very slim indeed.
Witch hunt: n.:
investigation of my friend; due diligence against my client.
With all deliberate speed: phrase:
with all possible deliberation and very little speed.
Word: n.:
weapon of the non-violent.
Words: n.:
stumbling blocks in the path to understanding.
Work: n.:
a particularly vicious Anglo-Saxon four-letter word.
"The curse of the drinking class."
"My work fascinates me: I can sit and stare at it for hours."
In another demonstration of the difference between the worlds of
science and of everyday life, in physics, work is the ability to
change energy (or the result of such a change.) In real life, work
only consumes energy.
"Work with a sense of urgency": motto:
work in a constant state of emergency.
Worm: n.:
harvester of Man, beast and higher plants.
Worry: v.i.:
ravel the sleeve of care.
Worship: v.t.:
consider with the same critical assessment as the master his spaniel or the grandmother her grandchild.
Write: v.t.:
participate in a perfectly natural, if somewhat cerebral, activity.
If you try it, remember Heinlein's dictum to "do it in private and wash your hands afterwards."
Writer: n.:
an exhibitionist who flaunts his private thoughts and words.
Writing: n.:
"the purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure poor
reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be
an intimidating and impenetrable fog." [Calvin {Bill Watterson}]
Wrong: adj.:
in disagreement with me.
Wrongful death: n.:
loss of life of which I do not approve and which may offer an
opportunity for profit, if my lawyer talks fast enough.
Wrongful life: n.:
the outcome of a successful anti-capital-punishment demonstration.