storied French lady.
O: proper name:
storied French lady.
OPEC: acronym:
Organization of Petroleum Extorting Countries.
Obedience: n.:
what we demonstrate to authority — when they're watching.
Obesity: n.:
disease caused by overactive fork.
Objective reporting: n.:
telling my side of the story.
Objectivity: n.:
the enviable ability to reach agreement with my opinions.
Obscenity: n.:
lewdness. Who was it that said "I may not be able to define
obscenity, but I know what I like"?
Obscure: v.t.:
render unclear or difficult to recognize or understand; "clarify" in
lawyerese.
Obscurity: n.:
the kind of fame allotted to Vice Presidents, majority whips and
offensive linemen.
Obsequious: n.:
showing the style of independence and confrontational form
appropriate to a suitor, or an employee.
Observatory: n.:
a place for authorized peering into the private lives of stars.
Obstetrician: n.:
Doctor Stork.
As a predictable result of the activities of the legal profession, this
species is becoming endangered in the United States.
Obviously: adv.:
apparently.
Occupation: n.:
an activity that takes possession of your life.
Oedipus: proper name:
a young fellow who loved his mother, not wisely but too well.
Offal: n.:
the awful parts of the animal, that you'd never want to eat.
Used in the production of sausage.
Offensive: adj.:
a little too close to home.
Office automation: n.:
car phone, car fax, laptop computer.
-oid: adj. suffix:
shaped like; imitating. As "factoid: imitation of a fact", "spheroid:
shaped like a ball", etc.
Oil: n.:
Nectar of the Gods of Industry.
Oil: v.t.:
lubricate; ease the operation of.
An old mechanical term; the political equivalent would be "bribe" or "contribute to."
Old: adj.:
once, honored, valued; now, obsolete, due to be discarded, used up.
Old Age: n.:
a stage of life so unpleasant and unrewarding that the Politically
Correct feel a need to dress it up in glowing euphemisms.
We typically only get through it by considering the alternative.
Old South: proper name:
the era and area of American history where bed linens were sold in
"44 Stout" or "6-3/8," rather than "twin" or "full." The favored
size was "wizard" instead of "king."
Omnipotent: adj.:
a meaningless sound much favored by the devout, who rarely understand potent, much less omni-.
Omnipresent: adj.:
sharing the nature of the Government as it applies to your private life.
Oncogeny: n.:
oncogeny decapitates phylogeny.
One: adj.:
enough hands on a scientist, in the eyes of Congressional
committees. "What we need here is some one-handed scientists
and no more of this 'on the other hand' stuff."
One-armed bandit: n.:
to liberals, the former majority leader of the Senate.
Opera: n.:
histrionic musical spectacle, where most of the audience have gone to be seen.
Opiate: n.:
number of minds.
According to Marx, religion was the opiate of the masses.
Marx lived before the advent of daytime television.
Optimistic: adj.:
having the belief that this is the best of all possible worlds. cf.
Pessimistic.
Oral contraception: n.:
a method of birth control that has been around since a long time
before anyone invented Pills, or even pills. According to some
accounts, lipstick was invented to advertise it.
Orbit: v.i.:
to fall forward in such a clever way that you keep ending up where
you started.
Orc: n.:
a creature from J.R.R. Tolkien's fantasy world, having the personality of a tax collector.
Orchestra: n.:
the traditonally objectionable sax and violins on television.
Orchid: n.:
paradoxical flower that is named like the male's sex organs, but looks like the female's.
Orgasm: n.:
an activity rediscovered by the unnamed prior generation to the
Boomers, who raised it to an object of adulation.
Orgasmic: adj.:
simulated.
Original sin: n.:
a very difficult accomplishment in modern times, but a popular goal, nonetheless.
Orthodox: adj.:
in religion, acting on the conviction that the appropriate way to advocate their beliefs is at the point of a bayonet;
in medicine, working to the doctrine "if you can't cut it out, drug it into submission."
Outrageous: adj.:
ostentatiously not in accordance with my whims and preferences.
Outsource: v.i.:
a way for management to declare that they think that someone else can manage important parts of their business better than they can.
Over the counter: adj.:
set up to hide the under-the-table.
Overawed: adj.:
responding to the presence of the overly odd.
Overdose: n.:
more than the system can tolerate.
Lenny Bruce is sais to have died of an overdose of police; Jean Seberg, then, died of an overdose of FBI.
Overheated economy: n.:
one that has had too much paper thrown on it just as it was starting to cook.
Overindulgence: n.:
exercise of appetites beyond what I would be willing to admit to.
Overreaction: n.:
standard response to being forced to acknowledge a problem.
Oversexed: adj.:
wanting it more often than I do.
Oversight committee: n.:
a body empanelled for the purpose of overlooking violations by
affiliates of the side of the majority and looking over actions by
the members of the party of the minority.
Oversleep: n.:
an oxymoron: there is no such thing as too much sleep.
Overtake: v.i.:
follow the philosophy of taxing agencies.
Overtax: v.t.:
perform an impossible act, according to the belief system of liberal governments.
Ovine: adj.:
demonstrating the acute critical faculties and leadership qualities of a party stalwart.
Owl: n.:
traditional animal archetype for intelligence.
Characteristic traits include an inquisitive vocabulary, nocturnal habits, and a
carnivorous diet.
They also bathe and preen less often than other birds.
Few are noted for their melodious voices.
Ox: n.:
gorer of farmers, goree of causes;
traditional measure of quickness or strength.
Oxford: proper name:
famous British university, home of another fine dictionary,
recently recruited as a field for promoting American celebrity
books.
Oxymoron: n.:
a phrase that contradicts itself or names something that cannot exist.
Examples include "Ethics in Government Act", "Truth in Advertising", "Generally Accepted Accounting Principles."
Traditional forms include "military intelligence," "marijuana initiative," "liberal arts education."
Oyster: n.:
bivalve mollusc noted for its taciturn nature and its habit of concealing pearls; considered edible in some circles.
Swift notes "He was a bold man that first eat an oyster." Given the appearance of the the oyster when out of the shell, that man was probably French.